I was an indoors kind of kid and I’m an indoors kind of adult now. I like reading, long walks to the refrigerator, playing the piano, listening to and writing music, drinking beer and most other indoor pursuits.
Every time I engage in an outdoor activity I am reminded of my essential indoorsiness and my recent trip to Florida is a case in point. I decided to break my longstanding dislike of the outdoors and go to the beach to participate in an activity called Frisbee.
This was surprisingly fun for a while but it wasn’t long before I made a miserable throw and the Frisbee went straight into a patch of what I now know are sand spurs. I didn’t know this at the time though and so blithely walked into said patch barefoot to retrieve the Frisbee.
You see, when you’re not an outdoors type not only do you not know about things like sand spurs but you also are always trying to overcompensate and prove to everyone that the outdoors is not scary and full of vicious things that want nothing more than to senselessly cause harm.
Of course it hurt but I was too proud to show it and wanted to get the Frisbee so I kept on going. When I got out of the patch I had easily fifteen clusters of sand spurs in my feet. Apparently I don’t know the proper technique for pulling them out either because my attempts only got them stuck in my hands as well as my feet.
With tweezers and the help of a gracious wife who understands me I managed to get most of them out but as I type this there are still two in my right thumb, one in my left index finger and two in my left foot near the heel. Do they work themselves out naturally? Will I require surgery?
This wouldn’t have happened if I had spent my vacation drinking beer and reading Sci-Fi as I had originally intended. Damn you outdoors!